“I didn’t ask for this”

I’m guilty. I’ve said this statement more times than I’d like to admit I’ve said it. What else should my response be when God gives me more than I bargained for? What can I say when I now have to deal with all that it brings?

Whether it’s a good thing or bad thing that happens to fall into my lap I find that my reaction in these moments tends to stay the same. And it rarely helps. Truthfully, I could be wiser with my words and my actions. I could try to see the beauty of it all and God’s goodness. But rarely does that happen. My first resort is questions; ones full of doubt and hesitation. I ask ‘why did You choose me’ to handle this or to receive this gifting. Why was it Your will to make me this person? Why are these the promises You desired to make to me?

I remember in September 2022, I went through a season where God showered me with promises and prophetic words left, right, and center. All of it was surely from the Lord. And I never doubted it. I knew that God desired to birth something so great out of my life. But…the words came with so much pressure. It seemed to weigh me down more than encourage me. Personally, I never wanted a special or great calling. I hate the spotlight and anything that brings me closer to that I detest. So with all that God was saying… I was taken aback. As much as I wanted to welcome it all, I couldn’t help but think of how unfortunate I was to be chosen.

These questions circled my mind and everytime I came to God, I became more reluctant to really open up and receive what He would say to me today. It seemed as if every time He spoke, the more pressure there was to be someone that I never knew was within me. God promising to birth something so beautiful out of my life would’ve been beautiful…if this is what I had asked for. But I never did.

I wondered if there was anyone who got more than they bargained for in the scriptures. Many stories came to my mind but only one really stood out: Mary, the mother of Jesus.  To me, she would be completely justified for saying, ‘I didn’t ask for this’, but not once did she say this.

While reading the first few chapters of Luke, I decided to put myself in Mary’s shoes. Her life was changing by the minute. She went from being a young woman, engaged and preparing to become a wife in the coming months to being the mother of the Lord Jesus Christ himself. She was the vehicle that God chose to do, possibly, the greatest thing on earth.

For those of us who feel completely justified in saying, ‘I didn’t ask for this’ I believe Mary gives the perfect example of how to respond when the promises of God are more than you could’ve ever imagined.

The story begins with the angel Gabriel’s announcement to Mary. Now, how would you feel about a statement such as this:

Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.”

And then continues on with this:

The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth, your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. For no word from God will ever fail.

That’s a lot. And how does Mary respond to this? 

“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” 

A few thoughts are running through my brain right now. Maybe Mary hadn’t processed it yet. Or maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t human. Because how can your only response be ‘I am the Lord’s servant’ and ‘May your word to me be fulfilled’. Did she not just hear what the angel said?!

Her response is something that we rarely analyze. But Mary was in complete agreement. This agreement has two parts to it. First, she humbles herself before her Master while simultaneously affirming herself in the great calling of being a servant of the Lord. Being a servant of the Lord is not just a small feat. It’s something that also requires confidence and assurance. And what’s amazing about her response is that she didn’t meekly say she was the Lord’s servant but she said it with authority. Secondly, she gave her ‘amen’. Similar to how we say ‘amen’ after receiving a prophetic word from the Lord, so did Mary. 

But, her ‘amen’ came after recognizing her identity. This tells us that in our agreement, we need humility. Our agreement without humility can cause us to run away from the word of the Lord. Or worse, it can propel us into that word on our own accord. 

But back to our first point, we must be in complete agreement from the very beginning.

As we continue the story, we see a song that Mary sings. 

“My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me— holy is his name. His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation. He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty. He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, just as he promised our ancestors.”

Luke 1:46-56

What a beautiful song. This is what our next response should be: praise. And not just any kind of praise, but praise filled with faith. If we look closely at the words used by Mary, she details things that have seemingly already been done. She doesn’t only say that God will bring down rulers and help his people, but she says that He already has done it. Prophetic praise, filled with faith, is a required response. I’m sure not even Mary understood the depth of what she was singing but it didn’t matter, she opened her mouth to praise and the Holy Spirit did the rest.

As we move on to Luke 2, we find two other ways that Mary accepted the call of God for her life.

The Scriptures note Mary doing a certain action about 3 times. What did she do? Treasure & ponder.

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:19 

Mary was in awe of the promise and the call. She treasured all that was said and continued to meditate over it to fully be able to digest it. One thing we should highlight about these two things is that they are silent reflective actions. This is not a discussion with other people but it is simply done introspectively.

Mary held the promise in full reverence and was in awe of what the Lord was doing. Many of us sometimes get in a hurry to go ahead and speak about it. We speak our doubts, our questions, or even our excitement. We rush to proclaim a thing rather than hold it in and reflect on it. To treasure and to ponder means that she understood the beauty of the assignment and treated it with respect. She did not disregard it, she did not push it off to the side, and she did not deny or disqualify herself from it.

The last thing we see Mary do is prepare. 

In my own life, I find that preparation can sometimes be the hardest thing to do when you are not willing or fully able to receive the promise of God. How can you prepare for something you are hesitant to walk into? That’s why we must first come into agreement with it as we already saw.

Mary prepared in numerous ways:

While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in clothes and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. Luke 2:6

On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise the child, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he was conceived. Luke 2:21

When the time came for the purification rites required by the Law of Moses, Joseph and Mary took him to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord (as it is written in the Law of the Lord, “Every firstborn male is to be consecrated to the Lord”),  and to offer a sacrifice in keeping with what is said in the Law of the Lord: “a pair of doves or two young pigeons.” Luke 2:22-24

When Joseph and Mary had done everything required by the Law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee to their own town of Nazareth. Luke 2:39

What is required of you by the law of the Lord for your calling? For Mary and Joseph, in order to properly receive the calling and the word of the Lord for their life, they needed to be good stewards of it at every moment. Meaning from beginning to the end, they continued to prepare the way for Jesus. When He was born, Mary wrapped him and nurtured him with the little she had. When the time for Him to be named had come, they did it in accordance with what the angel spoke. And finally they consecrated Him to the Lord officially while also providing the offering that the Law demands. They prepared fully and appropriately, even though they did not have much.

For us, preparation will look differently depending on what the Lord has called us too. Individual callings require individual and different preparation. It requires preparation not only according to the ‘general law or rule’ of your calling, but also to the specifics of your situation and what the Lord has explicitly told you to do. 

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So now what do we do? We’ve seen how Mary responded in spite of the weight of her calling. How will we respond? 

Let us choose to submit ourselves first and foremost to His will. Let’s be in agreement with it completely and then open our mouth to bless His name! Let us hold His word in total awe and make way for it to be birthed through us.

This is definitely easier to say than to actually walk out but God is a God who graces us to do this. Again, when we think how can all of this happen through us, let us remember that it is the Holy Spirit that will come upon us and the power of God which will accomplish all these things (Luke 1:35)